Contentment

Dear Abba Father,
What can I say about my current situation. I would say that it's not what I would have thought it would be. I'm not where I want to be, and that has been hard for me to break away from. I will be honest with you about the pain and frustration even the anger I feel. I put a lot of time into thinking that what I want is my identity. It's frustrating to be in this place, and very hard to stay focused and content. There are times when I feel like breaking down or just ignoring you. I sometimes do ignore you. I get restless and depressed in this circumstance. My eyes and mind stay more focused on the trial than on you. I'm sorry Father that I get like that. Your humbling day by day. Teaching me that you have all control no matter if I like it or not. I prayed for you to take control I just didn't think it would look this way. I know that trusting you is all that I can do. I mean you took all other options away lol. Contentment is not an easy lesson to learn. It is difficult and sometimes tiring. Leaning on you is the only way to make it through. Your teaching me that. I will not lie and say I'm joyful or happy about this lesson. All I can do is admit my brokenness and despair, and trust that you will see me through.

Love your faithful daughter <3